Saturday, July 27, 2013

Working in Customer Service

For people who have never worked on this side of the phone, let me tell you, its no fun.  Phone support is one of the most widely available jobs in the US.  There is a call center in at least every major city.  In my lifetime, I have worked in 3 of them, this regretfully being my 3rd one.  Some people are made for this type of job, and then there's people like me who used to be really good at it, but have just done it for way too long.  We are tired, we are burnt out, and we have bosses who are psychotic egomaniacs who whip us to work harder all the time just to make themselves look good. 

To protect myself, and my company, I'm not gonna give too detailed information, however I will say that I don't work at a normal job where I do tech support like for phones and computers.  I do tech support for a huge worldwide company, and my job can be very stressful, in that sometimes I am required to make tough decisions where large amounts of money are being lost, yet for some reason everyone's issue, no matter how small, is the biggest issue on the planet and needs to be fixed yesterday. 

I wanted to share with you some advice that might help your call go faster and smoother.

1)  Listen to your support representative!

Too many times have I answered the phone, first thing asking for the user's customer ID, and the customer completely runs me over and give me ALL KINDS of information that is completely irrelevant.  I get corporate ID numbers, store numbers, social security numbers, license plate numbers, a life story about their college education and where they spent the last 5 years, the freaking parking lot location where they last parked their car, and the times and dates of their last 4 bowel movements, but NEVER does that first sentence EVER seem to answer my original question...  What is your customer ID?  Is it that hard?

2)  Have your information ready!

This should go without saying.  Some jobs I've worked at in the past want me to keep the amount of time I'm on a call low.  This doesn't help when I have people prancing around the office trying to get the simplest information available.  If you don't have it the first time, fine, but write down what you will need so the next call goes smoother. 

3)  We do not have magic wands!

DO NOT CALL OUR DEPARTMENT JUST BECAUSE ANOTHER DEPARTMENT WAS TOO BUSY TO TAKE YOUR CALL!  This is EXTREMELY aggravating!  Many many times, we get callers that just think we ALL do the same thing!!  This is NOT true.  If you call a rep at the financial department to have your password reset instead of the tech team, it DOES NOT MATTER how much you tell me you REALLY need it done NOW!  I don't have access to that system, therefore I cannot help you.  Haggling and holding us hostage on the phone does not magically make us capable of resolving your issue.  This is like yelling at a man with no arms to pick up a watermelon.  It does not matter how many times you tell him that this is urgent, he does not have arms to pick it up with!  Your constant haggling and begging will not give him the telekinetic powers with which to use his mind to lift it. 

4)  Don't imply urgency

There is a million and one customers, all which believe that their issue is the one that if it doesn't get resolved, the world is gonna stop turning and God himself is going to start to panic.  We sort issues based on urgency, and in most cases, we determine the urgency.  If it needs to be fixed now, we will fix it.  If it does not need to be fixed now, and we say so, don't argue with us.  Chances are, we have been at this longer than you, and we know what a real problem is.  You know what I do when someone labels an issue as urgent?  It becomes the last issue in the stack I work.  No kidding.

5)  Don't be arrogant.

It has to be one of the greatest piss-offs in the world when a caller phones in with one of the simplest things that we do, and demands that this issue be escalated directly to Tier 2.  You are the "super mega manager from hell" of this company, and your office is THE ONE, out of the entire God-forsaken world, that makes the most money and the most business.  You need your password reset, but since you are so high and mighty, letting us do it for you in 10 seconds just isn't enough.  You need the personal home and cellphone number of the CEO of our company, and his mother just in case, and if possible, lets page out God himself while we are at it.  Oh and by the way, this is URGENT!  Jesus Christ... 


6)  Don't be lazy.

We are the "Help Desk", not the "Do it for you desk".  Our job is to help you fix your problem.  We have to help a billion others, and we can't afford to take on work for every single office or customer and just make it all go away.  Your effort is also required.  Also, we aren't stupid... we KNOW when we are being manipulated.  If your trying to hint at us that we need to do it for you, or you keep making excuses why you can't do it, or your playing dumb, its obvious.  Furthermore, if there is a procedure requiring you to put in a request for something a few business days in advance, get it out of the way.  Do not call me at the last minute, asking me to page out and wake someone from our Tier 2 support team up so they can come to your aid.  That is WRONG and adds to the stress of our job.  In most cases, we will be getting chewed out for it later.

7)  Talk to me like you would talk to your mother

Alot of people in the customer service industry NEED their jobs, and alot of them will allow themselves to be pushed over and abused and mistreated and yelled at while continuing to be nice, and there are alot of customers who like to abuse that.  You better not end up on the phone with me, because unlike them, I don't give a crap, and many of us don't.  I will talk to you the exact same way you talk to me.  If you disrespect me, I will let you know I don't appreciate it.  If you keep it up, I'll hang up.  I DONT have to deal with you.  I need my paycheck about as much as I need a brand new stereo.  Its just a nice thing to have, but don't need it.  Getting fired would actually be AWESOME!!!